I am BLESSED to be in the position I am in when it comes to helping those who WANT help…Get some insight to the issues preventing them from getting to their ULTIMATE goal of LOOKING and FEELING beautiful when they look at themselves in the mirror!
The thing I NEED to stress to you is that I am coming from a place of LOVE and COMPASSION when I delve into my thoughts and elaborate on them in the hopes of inspiring at LEAST one person to make positive LASTING change!
Here are a couple of things to note before I start:
1. I am NOT a psychologist and I have never claimed to be!
2. I am NOT a nutritionist and I have and will never bridge that gap.
3. I am NOT a doctor and I have and will never treat of diagnose injuries or illnesses.
4. I do however have a MASTERS DEGREE in life and hopefully soon will have my PHD…So all that I am going to share is some of the curriculum of my studies!!! ;)
Per my Facebook post earlier this morning, I am posting this for those who OVER or UNDER eat, EXCESSIVELY exercise, procrastinate MUSTS and others I can't think of right now…LOL!
Why do we do what we do? I contend that we are ever searching for the FEELING of happiness and we will do just about ANYTHING to obtain it…Even if there are unhealthy choices being made along the way.
Real quick, what happens when we make one UNHEALTHY choice to get something we WANT in the present? What if we LIE about that one little snack we weren't suppose to eat to someone who knows we're struggling with a food addiction cause we don't want to get lectured? What if we UNDER estimate what we ate on our food journal and give it to our trainer to impress them?
NOTHING…nothing happens...except that still small voice inside of you gets more and more muffled by RATIONALIZING our choices to LIE and DENY that we have a problem.
"Who the HELL cares about me and what the *&#$ I am dealing with?!"
You want to know the answer?
YOUR FAMILY, YOUR KIDS, YOUR FRIENDS, CO-WORKERS, NEIGHBORS, STRANGERS, ETC!
You also know who else cares….MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
I am on the outside looking in and I see the mess that needs cleaned up on isle 1 when no one is rolling in a mop, bucket and the right tools to deal with the BROKEN glass and other nasty junk left over from other spills…UNDER the shelving where the customers can't see!
Do you know the definition of the word denial? Well, its saying something isn't true or is like saying, "I have gained weight then lost it…Then gained it back and lost it again…Then again gained what I lost and worked my ass off to lose what I gained…But I DO NOT have a problem."
Here is what the word DENIAL means per the Celebrate Recovery curriculum being conducted at a lot of churches:
Disables our feelings.
By repressing our feelings we freeze our emotions. Understanding and
FEELING our feelings is freedom.
Energy lost a side effect of our denial is anxiety. Anxiety causes us to waste precious energy running from our past and worrying about and dreading the future. It is only in the present, today, where positive change can occur.
We are “as sick as our secrets.” We cannot grow and recover what was lost until we are ready to step out of our denial into the truth.
Isolates us from God
God’s light shines on the truth. Our denial keeps us in the dark.
Alienates us from our relationships
Denial tells us we are getting away with it. We think no one knows— but they do.
Lengthens the pain
We have the false belief that denial protects us from our pain. In reality, denial allows our pain to fester and grow and turn into shame and guilt.
Just to hammer home all of these one by one, it is VITAL that you do ONE thing for me…I mean YOU...while you go further:
"See things the way THEY ARE…NOT WORSE than it is!"
Ok, Denial disables our feelings. You know what it means…I know you do. For so long you have been losing and winning a battle and you feel like no one cares or even would if they did. It HURTS too much for you to feel…which is why you IMMERSE yourself in the pattern! You engage in this unhealthy patter because it drowns out the the voice in your head telling you that you're not good enough or that the food is the only thing that will never REJECT you, etc.
You become KNUMB and you don't know what it is to truly be HAPPY.
Denial causes us to LOSE energy. It helps stuff the anxiety and worry so that we don't have to feel it. We then sleep ALL the time and we are always tired and lethargic. We can't seem to immerse ourselves in healthy patterns…so we collapse.
Next one I really like is the one about ISOLATES us from God. I don't know about you…But me and the Lord are like BFF's…LOL! When I was going through the mourning process dealing with having cancer, I was in DENIAL that I was angry, hurt and depressed. It was hurting ALL of my relationships and the one hurt the most was with the Lord. I started thinking that He didn't care cause he wasn't answering my cries for help. I started to think that my faith wasn't strong enough and therefor I was overlooked.
Now, the MOST powerful of them I think could possibly be the one about ALIENATING us from our relationships! Face it, society doesn't really treat people with addictions or abnormal psychologies with the warmest of an embrace. Do you know what I am talking about when I say that ALL of your MOST important relationships SUFFER because of what your enduring? You don't think they know that you're struggling…STOP LYING TO YOURSELF!
THEY KNOW YOURE NOT THE SAME PERSON THEY EITHER FELL IN LOVE WITH OR GREW UP WITH OR MET AT WORK OR THIS OR THAT!
People might be a little stupid now and then….but they know when something just isn't right with someone! And what makes it worse, is when the people who know your suffering happen to be a family member or best friends!! They feel POWERLESS, HOPELESS and HELPLESS…Which makes you continue the cycle. If I am wrong…You don't apply. If I hurt your feeling and your offended…You might have needed to read this!
I would love for you to answer some questions as they pertain to you seeing things the way THEY ARE currently.
1. Have you admitted to yourself, a friend, a family member and/or god that you are going through what you're going through?
2. What have you LOST or are LOSING as a result of your destructive patter? (Family, friendships, job, money, health, respect, etc"
3. What WILL it cost or what WILL you LOSE if you DO NOT change? (6 months from now, 1 year from now, 5 years from now)
4. What will it take for you to step OUT of denial and get help? (Doctor, trainer, psychologist, nutritionist, etc.)
I SINCERELY pray that you find the courage to take the step to becoming the BEST you that you can be. I pray that you have the strength to admit you're not able to do this on your own. I pray that you see yourself as a victor instead of a victim! I pray you find peace!
With the loving embrace of a friend,